how to cope

[michelle garner]

on the 2nd may i should be celebrating my son, Kristoffers, 18th birthday, He passed away 18th feb 1997 at the age of 5, after a long illness. Most of you know how hard birthdays and anniversaries are, but i cant seem to get my head round this one. Ive always managed to be strong and get through the others but this one is killing me I dont know what to do, my new partner is being brilliant, but i have no contact with my deceased sons family, and my family i dont want to upset them with my grief , after this length of time i never expected to feel this bad again, its like when i first lost him, has anyone else experienced this ??

[Sonya]

Michelle, I am so sorry. I know how you feel. My son died 20 years ago and I also feel I am alone. My husband tries to be sympathetic, but for some reason it doesn't help. It does help when he allows me to have these feelings without trying to cheer me up because he knows it won't help because I have to just get my mind around it. I feel I don't want to upset my parents or my brother and sister although I know they loved John very much. They do call on the anniversary of his death trying to make me feel better. I just have to get through it on my own and I usually do. There's not a day I don't think about my son. Please keep the faith. It will always be hard though.

Sonya

[JudyS]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel, I am feeling the same way. My daughter will be gone 13 years next month, she will now be gone longer that she was alive, as she died when she was 12. I don't think I can bare this one. I am so tired of this journey. I've come so far and I think back to how bad it once was and how I could not even get thru a day without loosing my mind all over again, most of the time I am ok. But right now with this anniversary approaching I think I've had all I can take and I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Judy

[Sonya]

Michelle, there is no way we can know how we are going to react at any certain time. Sometimes I'm perfectly fine and others I still fall apart. It's very normal. I used to feel the same way you do about being around my family. I decided it really is their problem if they don't understand. It isn't yours. I began to mention John's name around my family and friends. Some were actually relieved that I brought it up. It appears they were afraid to mention John's name because they thought it would hurt me! So, please do what you feel like doing. It will make you feel so much better and will allow your family to comfort you when you need it.

Sonya

[Tara Clifton]

Hi...Im new to this site...new to anything that has to do with talking about my horrible tragedy actually but I feel that I need help learning to cope...and thinking that there are mothers/fathers out there going through the same thing gives a lil hope. On August 15, 2010 I was in a terrible car accident. My 15 year old step son was in intensive care for over a month at childrens hospital and underwent many surgeries but slowly pulled through. My beautiful 18month old daughter Jericca was also a passenger in the car...and was killed. Jericca was my whole life! my whole world! The purpose for everything thing that I did....she truthfully saved my life they day I found out I was pregnant with her.
I have heard so many stories yet never thought that it would be me or my family. I just still cant believe this has happened to me. I cry a lot...things go over n over n my head everyday...everything reminds me of my precious angel Jericca.
I dont know what to do from here...I feel like the pain is never going to go away and that Im going to feel like this for the rest of my life. I feel like the sun was blown out the day that god took my baby away..everything is so dark and dull. Its so hard for me as a mother knowing that my baby...my whole world is never coming home. I really just dont know how to go on with the rest of my life without my precious Jericca holdin mommys hand. Life jus sucks anymore